Post by jefflthomas on Jan 5, 2008 23:25:55 GMT
Multi-season loser Valentino Rossi looks ready and set to blame electronics in 2008 should he not recapture the MotoGP title.
MGPN can exclusively reveal that the gracefully fading Italian spent the off season gathering up a crack team of seasoned moaning experts to work out a contingency beef should next season once again end in tears. The elite sulksome team was reported to have included Max Biaggi's cousin, a fat person who only eats 'fresh fruit and vegetables', Foggy's ghost writer, someone from the Falklands and a cyber-geek who has secretly stored every one of Colin Edwards' excuses on a 160 terabyte hard disk somewhere in the Nevada desert.
After many hours complaining and moaning about how bad the traffic was the team finally got around to the business of deciding that electronics, namely the computer aided tomfoolery that is seen as Black Magic in the North of England, should be Valentino's premier excuse for 2008.
"We decided that electronics was the way forward for 2008" beamed one attendee "It's such a wide scope of blame. Anything from traction control to the LEDs on Rossi's key fob can be blamed for his failure and better still we already know that Ducati has the best electronics so he can use this to hollow out their victory should they win again in 2008."
There was, however, no mention of using Bridgestone as an excuse despite rumours that the Jappy tyre firm absolute hate Rossi and will be supplying him the crappiest tyres they can find in 2008.
"I've heard, and when I say 'heard' I mean read somewhere or possibly made up, that Bridgestone are furious with the whole Rossi situation" commented MGPN's super secret mole "They're angry because Dorna stated that if they didn't supply Rossi with tyres for 2008 then a single tyre manufacturer rule would be implemented – and, despite using the fairest means possible to determine the supplier, it would be Michelin
"Honestly, if Rossi doesn't get the worst tyres then my name isn't Steve Parrish" concluded our secretive mole.
MGPN can exclusively reveal that the gracefully fading Italian spent the off season gathering up a crack team of seasoned moaning experts to work out a contingency beef should next season once again end in tears. The elite sulksome team was reported to have included Max Biaggi's cousin, a fat person who only eats 'fresh fruit and vegetables', Foggy's ghost writer, someone from the Falklands and a cyber-geek who has secretly stored every one of Colin Edwards' excuses on a 160 terabyte hard disk somewhere in the Nevada desert.
After many hours complaining and moaning about how bad the traffic was the team finally got around to the business of deciding that electronics, namely the computer aided tomfoolery that is seen as Black Magic in the North of England, should be Valentino's premier excuse for 2008.
"We decided that electronics was the way forward for 2008" beamed one attendee "It's such a wide scope of blame. Anything from traction control to the LEDs on Rossi's key fob can be blamed for his failure and better still we already know that Ducati has the best electronics so he can use this to hollow out their victory should they win again in 2008."
There was, however, no mention of using Bridgestone as an excuse despite rumours that the Jappy tyre firm absolute hate Rossi and will be supplying him the crappiest tyres they can find in 2008.
"I've heard, and when I say 'heard' I mean read somewhere or possibly made up, that Bridgestone are furious with the whole Rossi situation" commented MGPN's super secret mole "They're angry because Dorna stated that if they didn't supply Rossi with tyres for 2008 then a single tyre manufacturer rule would be implemented – and, despite using the fairest means possible to determine the supplier, it would be Michelin
"Honestly, if Rossi doesn't get the worst tyres then my name isn't Steve Parrish" concluded our secretive mole.